HEALING THROUGH FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness is paramount to the Christian life. I saw the reality of that truth when a dear friend, who had a progressive disease, became very ill and was hospitalized. Though I had been faithfully praying for her, I saw no change. I then asked God why her health was not improving. The Holy Spirit spoke into my spirit, “She refuses to forgive her husband.” That connection between healing and forgiveness was a new reminder of the power that God releases when we forgive.
God takes forgiveness very seriously. As Jesus’s mangled and bleeding body hung from that cruel cross, He cried out, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34 KJV). Therefore, “…whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses” (Mark 11:25 NIV). Despite Jesus’s unimaginable physical pain, His priority was to ask God to forgive the very ones who had put Him on that cross.
That same day, I went to the hospital to share with my friend that while praying for her healing, I had asked God why there had not been a positive change in her health. I then told her that the Holy Spirit anwered, “She will not forgive her husband.”
My friend angerly acknowledged that what God told me was true. With tears, she confessed that her husband had given her a venereal disease which caused complications, thereby, severely compromising her immune system.
I prayed for her and then shared the healing power of forgiving those who emotionally and/or physically injure us and how my willingness to forgive that person became my greatest gift to myself. I then asked if she would be willing to forgive her husband. With fire in her eyes, she shouted, “I will NEVER forgive him!! To my great sadness, she passed away the next day.
Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times seven” (Matthew 18:21-22 NKJV). That translates to 490 days—about 16 months.
Years before my conversation with my friend, I had bitterness and hatred towards an individual who had hurt me to the point of suffering PTSD. One day, I cried out to God to heal my heart and mind. His Spirit gently spoke into my spirit, “You must forgive.” I responded, “HOW do I forgive? I have been saying, “I forgive ___,” but it has not changed the constant painful memories of what I suffered.” I then heard in my spirit, “It is not enough to say, ‘I forgive.’ You must pray every day for that person until you are free from bitterness, and emotional and mental torment.”
My journey in forgiveness began with half-hearted prayers, but as each month passed, I noticed that my prayers were becoming more compassionate. Then one day in the 11th month (330 days) of praying daily, I began to cry uncontrollably as God revealed the brokenness, confusion, and childhood trauma that had formed the behavior of that angry person. Suddenly, compassion and forgiveness overwhelmed my heart.
I was finally free from the heavy weight of pain, struggle, hatred, bitterness, and unforgiveness. Not only was I free from the pain that came from those memories, but God instantly healed me of PTSD.
Many years have passed since then. Though I am unable to know this person’s spiritual condition, I continue to pray that they will come to know the goodness of God through His son Jesus Christ.
God’s love for every person is beyond our understanding. He sees our flaws, regrets, brokenness, pain, and hidden sins, yet He loves us so much that He sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Now we can freely come before our heavenly Father and place before Him those sins, failures, mistakes, brokenness, hurts, and burdens.
God alone has all power to bring healing and forgiveness to those broken areas of our lives. However, the Lord tells us that we must first forgive ourselves and others’ their offenses so that our heavenly Father will forgive us (Matthew 6:14-15). My bitterness and unforgiveness had become a toxic poison that had turned inward and manifested in fear, depression, anxiety, insecurity, and physical ailments.
God sees our refusal to forgive as rebellion and disobedience. “For rebellion is the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry” (I Samuel 15:23 (NKJV). We must never forget that refusing to forgive is sin, and it puts us in a very dangerous place that opens a door for the enemy to attack and torment us (Galatians 5:19-20).
God desires that we walk in purity, wholeness, and forgiveness. He calls us to remember Jesus’ words, “They know not what they do.” God calls us not to judge so we won’t be judged. Neither are we to condemn others so that God will not condemn us, for when we forgive others, He forgives us (Luke 6:37). Therefore, “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 NKJV). Those amazing promises offer freedom!
Most of us have prayed the Lord’s Prayer, and some pray it daily. However, do we really consider the import of line twelve: “Forgive us our debts (our sins), as we have forgiven our debtors (those who sin against us)” (Matthew 6:12 NKJV). Do you see the order of that sentence? This truth of first forgiving before we can be forgiven cannot be overstated. God wants that truth and the reasons for forgiveness to be deeply rooted within our hearts.
King David said, “We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace” (I Chronicles 29:15 NLT). "You do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away" (James 4:14 NKJV).
Why, in this short life, would we give one moment of energy to destructive negative thoughts, bitterness, and unforgiveness. May each who struggle with unforgiveness come to that place of trusting God to bring them through the process of prayerfully and genuinely forgiving those who cause or have caused pain. Only then can there be freedom from hurt, bitterness, and disappointment that have power to plague our thought-life which eventually harms the mind, body, spirit, and soul.
PRAYER: FATHER, I need Your help in forgiving (_____). Teach me how to pray for (_____) each day. Forgive me for holding on to unforgiveness and bitterness and reliving those painful memories and thoughts that bombard my mind. Cleanse me of all unrighteousness and bring me to that place of freedom to genuinely forgive (_____). In Jesus name, amen.